A guide for women explaining the simplicity of us men

This is taken from an Italian newspaper article from a while back and I decided to translate it the best I could. Enjoy.

WOMEN...

1.If you think you are fat, it is most probably true. Don't ask me. I will refuse to answer you.

2.If you want something, ask for it. US MEN, WE ARE NOT COMPLICATED!

3.If you ask a question of which you don't want to hear the answer, don't be surprised listening to the answer you didn't want to hear.

4.If I ask you to pass me the bread, for the love of god, i'm just asking if you can pass me the bread. I am not insinuating that you did not put bread on the table.

5.Sometimes, I don't think of you. There's nothing wrong with that. Please, get used to this. Don't ask me what i'm thinking, unless YOU want to talk about politics, economics, football, or sports cars.

6.Sunday=Barbeque=Pizza=Friends=Football. It's like the full moon or the tide, they can't be avoided.

7.Shopping is not fun.

8.When we go out together, absolutely anything you wear looks good. No really, it does.

9.You already have enough clothes, enough shoes. Crying about it is just blackmail.

10.Most of us men have 3 pairs of shoes. Why would you think we are needed when you need to choose which of your 32 pairs looks better on you.

11.Simple answers like YES and NO are perfectly acceptable to answer any kind of question.

12.Come to me with one problem at a time, if you want help, i'm here for you. Don't ask me for help if it is just for empathy as if I was one of your lifetime girlfriends.

13.A 17 month long headache is a serious problem. Go see a doctor.

14.If something I said can be interpreted in two different ways and one of them makes you depressed, or makes you angry, then probably my intention was to say the other.

15.ALL us men see 16 colors. Lavender and Magenta are not colors.

16.Beer excites us just as much as bags do for you.

17.If I ask you if something's wrong and you answer "nothing", I will believe you and I will act as I would normally.

18.Don't ask me if I love you. If I didn't, I would be somewhere else.Without you.

19.In general: If you have any kind of doubt on us men, think of the easiest answer. Us men...we are really simple.

From blogentrycreator

Holy Snapping Duck Do! I just climbed out from under my rock and realised I have not updated this since petrol was cheaper than a bottle of Grange!... You would not believe the amount of people that are totally stalking me. Truly!.

I am overwhelmed with setting fire to people wearing Crocs, homeschooling five children, just generally being scary to various lawyers I met recently, my day is filled with fluorescent light from sun-up to I run out of alcohol. I am beyond drunk most of the time. I need some perspective.

I probably won't blog until the next time booze prices go up and I have to get sober for a while. What? Or if he morphs into an a$$..

Job and other things

Well since January a lot of things happened.
I have finally found a job! YAY! I now work for a bank "Banca Popolare di Intra" , a small bank that was recently bought by "Veneto Banca". I work in Intra ( a very nice little town on Lake maggiore. Will post a picture.) and i am a credit analyst. In other words i analyse balance sheets and other documents in order to decide if we should loan money to a certain business or not. I've been working there for 6 months now and in December my contract ends. Hopefully i'll have done a good job and they'll renew it.
Apart from all that news I have more recently bought a new guitar and i'm completely amazed at how good it sounds. It's an Epiphone Les Paul 100 and it was so cheap! The picture shows old guitar vs. new. This doesn't mean i'll stop using the Fender! I'm planning to buy new pickups and customise it a bit into a more bluesy/jazzy type of soud. Will keep you updated!